How one can imagine embodiment in our “disembodied” online lives?

I attended my first Imagine a Feminist Internet workshop in Malaysia, organised by the Foundation for Media Alternatives (FMA) and EMPOWER-Malaysia from 14 to 16 November 2019. While I’m familiar with the Feminist Principles of the Internet (FPIs), which are “a set of statements that together provide a framework for women's movements to articulate and explore issues related to technology,” this was the first time I was going to engage closely with questions like what it means to imagine a feminist internet, what a feminist internet looks like, both for me and my community, what I need from it, and what I can contribute to make it happen. One key aspect which I wanted to explore during the workshop was embodiment and how one can imagine embodiment in our “disembodied” online lives as a part of our very networked lives today. Embodiment is one of the clusters of principles that the Feminist Principles of the Internet are grouped in, which validated and supported the questions which I posed.

...this was the first time I was going to engage closely with questions like what it means to imagine a feminist internet, what a feminist internet looks like, both for me and my community, what I need from it, and what I can contribute to make it happen.

We were a group of about 50 participants from Southeast and South Asia. Some of the participants had been a part of the process of framing and the advocacy of the FPIs since 2014, with several others who were new to the idea. For the three days, we devoted ourselves to imagining a feminist internet. I believe all of us that were present there are activists and/or are involved in different kinds of activism in our communities and also in a personal capacity in our lives – we do it online and/or offline, through our work, art, documentation and many other creative ways – and us being together in one place is also telling of the commitment towards creating and participating in embodied experiences which are an extension to our mostly virtually networked lives and movement-building initiatives.

During one of the sessions, we performed an exercise in groups where we assembled ourselves to replicate various nodes between a click (to send a message or a tweet) and seeing the final message on a screen. We each held small cards that said “click”, “Wi-Fi router”, “modem”, “servers”, “towers”, “ISP”, etc., and then rearranged ourselves in the order in which a data packet would travel on the internet. This was an interactive and fun way to learn about the internet, like the difference between a router and a modem – a router connects to a modem which connects to your internet service provider (ISP), so the correct order in which a data packet travels is from your device to a router to a modem. And no, I did not know about this before this exercise in spite of using a router and modem every day. It made me realise that ultimately, even if one were to think that all online spaces/activities are virtual (or “unreal”), every single one and zero online is happening somewhere offline – through screens, clicks, scrolls, wires, servers and with humans driving the flow of those ones and zeroes.

What was particularly interesting for me was the way the workshop was conducted. It enabled one to have an embodied experience of ideas and aspirations. For example, there was no fixed agenda for how the day would go. It was fluid and it could evolve by sensing the pulse of the room. The focus of the activities and exercises was very much on giving our ideas shapes and forms. In one session, we used props to create an avatar of the most powerful and ideal internet.

It made me reflect on my own experience of finding my queer identity online and the fact that one would approach the internet very much out of a feeling of isolation and “otherness” because we’re surrounded by heteronormative culture and role models but rarely meet other queer peers. The internet made it possible for most of us to come out of the closet, at least online, and connect with others. So, when you meet people from different countries and contexts in a stimulating and nurturing space like this workshop, where you are creating avatars together, you find similarities in your lived experiences with other people’s experiences, and realise that our online selves are not so “other” anymore, you’re not alone anymore.

For some of us there, it took years to travel back and forth with ease between our queer online selves to perhaps slightly-less-queer offline lives. There is power in controlling how we flow from online to offline in our own space and at our own pace, as we learn to negotiate multiple embodied identities. I imagine a feminist internet that enables us to draw power from taking control of our own narratives.

We had a session on movement building, and one of the participants said, “organising and resistance is about relationships” – it’s about feeling, sensing and processing emotions. When a troll threatens me online, I physically feel scared. When I see art and poetry by protesters online, I feel a sense of power and I get goosebumps. When I retweet and someone tells me that’s “slacktivism”, I feel rage. We also talked about the importance of self-care and taking a break and reflecting on our needs as a group and as individuals, to recharge to get back at it again. It’s important to acknowledge our embodiment – and this too is an act of resistance, especially when the rest of the world tells you otherwise.

For some of us there, it took years to travel back and forth with ease between our queer online selves to perhaps slightly-less-queer offline lives. There is power in controlling how we flow from online to offline in our own space and at our own pace, as we learn to negotiate multiple embodied identities. I imagine a feminist internet that enables us to draw power from taking control of our own narratives.

Although, after attending the workshop, I came back with more questions than answers. And I believe this is a great thing! What this tells me is that we need more spaces like this workshop and we need more “bodies” to participate in the process of imagining and making a feminist internet. What this also tells me is that this is how mobilisation and movement building begins – by asking questions and by sharing those questions with others, and working towards a common resolution. The FPIs were at the centre of our conversations and I learned and could see first-hand how this is also a dynamic and evolving document. So, I think we did well by asking questions while we were there, sharing them with each other, and I hope we have continued to do so after having returned to our home countries and communities, as this is the way we can ensure that the document remains dynamic.

On one of the days, we created a “Museum of Moments” where we discussed and pasted posters and text on the wall about people and events from Ada Lovelace in the 1840s to advocacy efforts at the Internet Governance Forum in 2018. There is strength in remembering the history and journey of our struggles. It’s inspiring, and gives you hope, especially when so much of history is written about and dominated by heteronormative cis-male figures in the development of science and technology. It made me realise and acknowledge the importance of taking a moment to recognise that we’re a part of a long journey, to remember how far we have come, what we have achieved, and that we have a long way to go. But the way ahead is not lonely.