Good-mannered women never make any history, even online

“Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear.”

St. Catherine of Siena

They say good-mannered women never make any history. And I agree. The definition of “good” has from time immemorial been skewed against women. Their dignity has always been latched on them being good and conforming to society’s standards of good women. To give the term “bad-mannered” woman context, the late Wangari Maathai comes to mind. As per society’s standards, she was not a good woman. She protested and disobeyed the then president, Daniel Arap Moi, who wanted to build a party headquarters in a public park. Disobeying the president was considered bad manners. These standards are not always fair, and a good place where it plays out is on internet platforms.

Scene one: Akothee v Ezekiel Mutua

Akothee aka the Lioness: She is one of the biggest musicians from Kenya. Known for her dancing prowess and business acumen. Arguably the richest musician in Kenya.

Ezekiel Mutua: The chief executive officer of the Kenya Film Classification Board (KFCB) and self-appointed moral police. Popularly known for wanting to take the “gay Masai Mara lions for counselling.”

It all started when pictures of Akothee posing provocatively in her white swimsuit during a performance went viral online. One of the photos showed the musician down on all her four limbs as she raised her booty to face the happy revellers at the Papa Remo Beach restaurant in Malindi. The other image showed the musician spreading her legs wide as her crotch faced the crowd.

The definition of “good” has from time immemorial been skewed against women. Their dignity has always been latched on them being good and conforming to society’s standards of good women.

As the images went viral, Mutua called out the artiste while describing her on-stage stunts as “stupid”:

“Kenya has talent. But, as long as we keep celebrating this kind of madness [Akothee’s on-stage stunts], our entertainment industry will never grow. Akothee is talented, but the filthy and stupid stunts she has to pull to remain relevant should concern all of us. What is worse, is to see grown up men and women celebrating this scatological obscenity in the name of entertainment,” Mutua wrote on his Facebook page.

“People like Akothee cannot be the role models for our daughters. Music doesn’t have to be dirty to sell. How I wish artists like Akothee would know how much influence they have on our youth, and try to use that influence to produce content that is edifying. This kind is crass, moronic and a theatre of the absurd. It’s demonic to the core and only appeals to debilitating and incorrigible perverts and brainless audiences. Akothee must stop this idiosyncrasy. There’s no dignity in this crap either for her or even her audience,” added Mutua.

When the media reached out to Akothee to comment on Mutua’s criticism, she asked, “Who is Ezekiel Mutua? Nonsense! Where is the media when I want to promote my music? You only look for me when negative publicity follows me. Nonsense!”

The musician clapped back at Mutua in a series of posts, stating:

“When I was broke I was nobody's role model, now that I am rich and famous, you want to ride on my money and fame. Take responsibility for your own children, take their phone and unfollow me, I am ratchet, period, what happened to your church pastors, aunties, sisters and grandmothers. No one is paying me for role model position and no one pays me for manners,” she wrote.

She further added: “Kenyans see a prostitute and disgrace but the world saw a talented megastar… sasa fanyeni hivi (now do this) Come arrest me.”

Harassment of women online

Many women get harassed online, especially when they express themselves in ways that do not conform to the patriarchal order in the society which they live in.

Internet platforms give everyone an equal voice and many women have taken advantage of this and used it to express themselves. Despite this, patriarchy disguised as Christian teaching and societal order is used to police women’s thoughts and expressions. Emphasis on modesty and being an example to young girls are commonly used to police adults. But Akothee's retort on who appointed her role model fights back the common notion that every famous person is a role model of some sort.

While Mr. Mutua might argue that it is his job to protect society, such attacks usually give an opportunity for online trolls and attackers to cyberbully women. Too many times have trolls taken advantage of such online discussions to insult and verbally abuse Akothee's daughter and other children. While the musician has a thick skin and may be able to take criticism, attacks on her children are unwarranted.

While researching for this article, I contacted the bold Taruri Gatere on her experience in sharing divergent views online. This is what she had to say.

Many women get harassed online, especially when they express themselves in ways that do not conform to the patriarchal order in the society which they live in.

Scene two: Taruri Gatere

Taruri describes herself as a feminist and a woman who likes to speak her mind.

“I am also a free spirit. I had no idea that being who I am would cause so much uproar in the digital spaces, but apparently being free and making choices for myself and sharing about them is a thing a woman shouldn't be doing. That's what I've been told anyway.”

I first came across her content in 2015 when she ran a body positivity blog known as Flawnt It. The site celebrated perceived flaws in people’s bodies and interesting stories accompanying the photographs. It was a digital safe space where people could open up and be vulnerable, which was a first in this conservative society. She stirred still waters.

“We had women with cellulite, stretch marks, C-section scars, all things that are deemed unattractive according to mainstream beauty standards. We also had men showcasing their receding hairlines and potbellies but what got the most reactions were the women's stories. Aside from the avalanche of support, there were also the negative comments criticizing the women's bodies, as if they weren't vulnerable enough showing off parts of themselves they had been told were ugly. There were people online who believed that such a campaign was totally unnecessary, that women should cover up. Thankfully we had formed a community with the people who shared their stories and we offered support to each other when faced by these online trolls. This was a very valuable thing as I would learn in the years to come.”

As a lady who speaks her mind all the time, Taruri always courted controversy in this society where people don’t really mind their own business. In 2018, she was approached by a TV station to do an interview on her choice to remain childfree. She knew that her story would ruffle feathers but she was not ready for the storm that came her way.

“Once again I underestimated the impact that a woman making her own choices over her own body would have. After the interview I perused the comments on the TV station's social media platforms and discovered that I had been called a prostitute, a promiscuous woman, someone said that I have procured several abortions, yet another said that I was covering up infertility. A few people said that my parents should have made the decision to not have me as well, seeing as I was wasting my life. My favourite insult was a total stranger who called me a degenerate and told me that I refuse to think.”

Taruri says that her mission in life is to share her story and others to inspire people to live authentic lives. She has connected to such amazing like-minded individuals, but she has also opened her life up to criticism, most of which turns abusive.

“The thing about social media is that pretty much anyone from anywhere can reach you and say anything to you or about you. It's a very vulnerable place to put yourself and if it wasn't for my inner strength built up from years of personal work, the fact that my choices are made through authentically following my truth and the wonderful support system that I have been able to build around myself, I don't know if I would have been able to manage all the criticism.”

She hopes that cyberbullying will be policed better in the future and that some form of social etiquette will be developed in the social media culture so that all can exist freely and respectfully in these spaces.

Taruri says that her mission in life is to share her story and others to inspire people to live authentic lives. She has connected to such amazing like-minded individuals, but she has also opened her life up to criticism, most of which turns abusive.

Online abuse in Kenya

While all this is happening, there have been gains legislatively to counter cyber harassment. The Kenya Computer Misuse and Cybercrimes Act was enacted into law in 2018 and it includes provisions to criminalise cyber harassment. Section 27 of the Act states that a person who wilfully communicates with another person commits an offence if they ought to know that their conduct is likely to cause that person fear of violence or loss on that person’s property. The same section adds if the words detrimentally affect that person or are indecent or grossly offensive in nature, this will be considered cyber harassment. Still on law, it is important to note that the Constitution of Kenya in its Bill of Rights clearly states that the right to freedom of expression does not extend to advocacy of hatred that constitutes vilification of others.

According to the Communications Authority of Kenya’s most recent cyber threats statistics, there was a decrease in the number of online abuses reported. The October-December 2018 quarter had 158 reported cases, a drop from the 252 cases of the July-September 2018 quarter. The 2019 reports do not have statistics on the number of reported online abuses, though. The available reports do not indulge deeply on the gender of the complainants, which makes it harder to find out more about the abuses.

To date, many women do not feel strong enough to share their stories online like Taruri and Akothee. This is because of the trolls online who hide under the anonymity that internet platforms allow. Several organisations have come out with initiatives to teach women how to deal with trolls, such as Safe Sisters and KICTANet. These organisations have been holding training events to teach women how to identify and report cyber harassment incidents.

But the real solution to this problem will be what Taruri said, that some form of social etiquette needs to be developed in the social media culture so that all can exist freely and respectfully.